Endings

So to make this not such a sad post I am going to talk about more that just real life endings but TV endings.

So since I last posted I have lost 3 people in my life. My great-grandmother(Grandma S.), my grandmother(Granny), and my great-grandfather(Grandpa S.). It was a rough time for me between life changing, what felt like 2 simultaneous funerals, and surgeries.

I had reconnected with my Granny and Papa(not pawpaw) while in college. I was actually mad when Granny passed away. 1 because she didn't attend my college graduation and I didn't realize it was because she was really sick. 2 because I found out she was really sick and I hated myself for being mad at her. 3 because no-one told me she was really sick and I didn't get to say goodbye.

My biggest regret almost 7 years ago when I lost my Papa(pawpaw) was that I did not use my last chance to go see him when I could've. So I promised myself I would never let that happen and for the most part I did my best. I visited and made peace with people as best I could. But I didn't get to say goodbye to Grandma Scruggs because the trip I was planning was days late. Then I didn't get to see Granny one last time because the trip I was planning to see her was a month late. Then Grandpa S. passed away in 2011 and it was too quick for me to know and get to say my goodbye. The last time I saw him was at Grandma S.'s funeral.

So needless to say I battled many regrets, anger and sadness. Then when it felt like I was coming up for air, I was told I had 4 lumps in my breast. I had to have surgery to remove 2 of the biggest and my surgeon agreed we would watch the other 2. The recovery was the worst ever. I went several months, worked, married, had my honeymoon and then the dreaded 6 month appointment to check the other 2. To my immense joy I now had 6 lumps including the 2 that were left in. Due to the placement of them and my surgeon not wanting to make me have 3 separate incisions and a hard recovery decided he would take out the 3 that were almost right on top of one another in different levels of tissue. So with 3 lumps removed we are now watching the other 3. My next appointment is in May and I'm hoping I don't need another surgery. If I do I plan to hold off until after we go to NY to get married.

Now that that was depressing, let's go to an ending that is sad for me but is just an ending to people not invested. I have been watching One Tree Hill since end of season 2 beginning of season 3. It ended a week and a day ago. It was sad for me because that helped me deal with a lot of stuff. It introduced me to music, inspired me and just generally made me happy. It seems like since it has ended that my last tie to my childhood has ended. I am happy to be an adult but it was nice to have something reliable to turn to, now I just don't know what to do. Sure there are great shows still on the air but none that were there for me through good times and bad. Oh well such is life. One day I hope to work on such a great show. Thank you to the cast and crew for 9 years.

"Every song ends is that any reason not to enjoy the music" - Ellie OTH